The Secret to Seeking Self

Introspection--

Searching for meaning of life?

Searching for meaning of self?

During the late 1960's while attending college,
 I memorized a poem which influenced my thoughts in novel ways.

My parents built a house for me

To put my soul inside

It is floored with prejudice

And roofed with pride

And in the floorboards of that old house

The wood is rotting fast

The stagnant shell will soon collapse

And leave me free at last.

                        Annonymous

I didn't experience prejudice while growing up; we were not prideful people.
However, the sense that I was free at last affected me in a way
not typical of the hippie generation:

 I was responsible for me and who I became.

Forty some years later, at another stage of life, Marge Dohlman's poem stirred me.

 

I've come to realize
The weaknesses of others
Do not have to be mine

I have the strength
To pull free
Of foggy fingers
Twisting my soul
Holding me captive
Forming my thoughts
Boxing me in
. . .

Again, I was responsible for me and who I became; finger-pointing not allowed. 

 What am I seeking?  

Who am I?  

What am I to do on Earth that will make a difference?

Dorcas, a treasured friend and fellow Alpha writer, shared Joyce Rupp's work.

Deep is calling into deep.  
Stop standing before the dark, empty cave. 
Take a step. Let go. Walk in.  
Just like the seed must fall into the dark, deep black soil, 
so must I enter into the darkness, go where there is mystery, 
where the questions float without answers . . .  
Deep within me a tiny voice whispers the truth:  I
If you want to grow, you must die to self.  
Here in the place of darkness you will learn what life is.  
You will find the energy that you've never dreamed possible.  
You will know a transformation that shall dazzle the eyes of your spirit.

As Dorcas wrote, 

"Each day the pruning continues . . .  

Each experience allows our hunting hearts to more freely enter the garden of life."

What is the secret in discovering ourselves?  

Colossians 1:27 tells us,

God's plan is to make known his secret to his people, this rich and glorious secret which he has for all peoples. And the secret is that Christ is in you, which means that you will share in the glory of God.

 

As we struggle to find ourselves, 

validate our worth,

 determine our journey path--

 we have a fresh opportunity to do so--each morning.

Kay Arthur in 365 Daily Devotions for Women wrote,

"If you are God's child, you are no longer bound to your past or to what you were. You are a brand new creature in Christ Jesus."

Give praise in the journey.

Expect blessings--each day.

Give praise always.

Blessed Are The Peacemakers

I just received a phone call from my ninety-seven year old father who experienced a stroke a couple of days ago.  Thinking of everyone else as is typical for him, he asked that I contact my brothers and let them know that although he could not walk yesterday, today he can.  Also, he continued, please tell everyone that I love them.

I recently finished the book, Climbing With Jesus, by Stephan Grunlan--a fresh look at the Sermon on The Mount.  Today, when reviewing the book, I could not help but think of Dad in that he has been "climbing with Jesus" his entire life.  He fought in WW II coming back to America with the Silver Star and Purple Heart.  He and my mother farmed the land; raised cattle, hogs, and chickens--along with six children. He was an elder in the church, chairman of the school board, and he took his responsibilities seriously and humbly.  Although a veteran, he was a revolutionary of love and peace and sought opportunities to help the poor and needy in his own community and world-wide when he took a trip to Poland during their extended drought period when many were starving.

Jesus' message was based on relationships--a relationship with God and then relationships with our fellow man.  I encourage you to read The Beatitudes in Matthew 5: 1- 19.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness . . . Blessed are the merciful. . .  blessed are the pure in heart. . .  blessed are the peacemakers. . .  blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

How does Jesus expect his followers to live in our world?  Read The Beatitudes, and you will know.  Understand the life of Jesus, and you will know.  Worship God, ask for guidance, and you will know.  God assures us that ". . . we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

As followers of Christ, we have a responsibility.  Let us be meek, hungry, merciful, pure in heart, and peacemakers.  Let us give evidence--by the way we live--to others that we are Christians.

My dad has done this.  Although he would humbly deny it and say he has not done enough.  My prayer for him is that he be comforted, that he have less pain, that he has a quality of life until the Lord calls him home.

Please send up a prayer for my Dad.

Molly

I watched as she swung her two children--one in a regular child's swing, one in a bucket-type swing for toddlers.  "Want an under-dog?" she asked cheerfully as the children giggled encouragement.

Sitting on a deck over-looking Lake Pemushe in northern Minnesota, I read quietly soon to be interrupted again by playground chatter below.

"You can do it," Mommy encouraged as the little girl attempted the rock wall--and she did.

A few hours passed and again I rested on my perch-like deck with a hot cup of tea and a slice of zucchini bread overlooking the happenings below.  On the gravel road in front of the lodge, Mommy pushed the little boy in a stroller with one hand and pulled the little girl on a training-wheels bicycle with the other.  I wondered where her husband might be.  There were other families at the resort interacting with her and the children.  Maybe, he was fishing.

The following day we pulled our fishing boat up to the dock late one morning to see children splashing at the shoreline.  Mommy was there--paying careful attention to both.

I admired her and the personal sacrifices she was making to be a  mom--a good mom.  I sent up a prayer for her.

Following breakfast the next day in our small apartment, I laced my tennis shoes and took off for a walk.

 In spite of a few early morning mosquitoes, I enjoyed God's beautiful morning:  the sunlight drifted between the pines, a cool breeze brushed my skin, the smell of the lake and earth, the sound of a Loon.  No one else was out and about.  Walking back up the hill to our dwelling, I saw her.  Mommy.  Pushing the stroller and holding the other by her hand.

Psalm 143: 8 - 10     Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul . . .  Teach me to do your will, for you are my God . . .

"Good morning," I ventured and smiled.

"Hi," she answered with only a hint of a smile.

"Can I ask your name?" I hoped I wasn't being out of line.

"Sure.  It's Molly."

"Molly.  Nice to meet you.  I'm Kathy."

She waited.

"I just want to tell you what a good mother you are.  I've been watching you.  We're in the apartment above the lodge.  Watching you swing your children, helping with the rock wall, and hearing your words of encouragement.  That's wonderful." 

Her facial expression brightened, but her eyes filled with tears.

"There must be days when you tell yourself I can not do this any more."

She nodded in agreement.

"It's all worth it.  Some day they'll grow up and be some of your best friends."

Proverbs 25:11     A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

She murmured a simple thank you, and we parted.

Many of us think no one cares, no one notices, but someone always does.

Some of my most encouraging moments have come from strangers.  A note in the mail, an uplifting email, a simple thank you for a job well-done.  All too often, we say nothing.  We all need support and validation.  Encourage someone today.  If you put it off until tomorrow, you may not do it.

We are one in the Spirit.  We are one in the Lord.  Let us love one another. 


PS--Yes, I know the picture is sideways.  You can tell I am still learning tech skills.  More on that in another blog.

Your Dwelling Place

Arriving late on a Friday afternoon, five couples and a single lady parked their out-of-state cars in a lot behind Main Street, took a backdoor into a business building, and climbed the steps to "The Stitchery Retreat."

If anyone would have been watching, they would have noted family resemblances--two brothers and four sisters, all siblings with their spouses (not resembling anyone) gathered for the weekend.  A great room greeted them at the top of the steps complete with mini kitchen, dining area and living space with a large screen TV, several comfy couches, and easy chairs.  Beyond the great room a long hallway allowed admittance to several bedrooms all complete with bathrooms--towels, shampoo and hair dryers provided.

Liking what they saw, they returned to their cars and unloaded suitcases, snacks, drinks, and games and settled in for the weekend.  Instead of "stitching," they would be re-connecting, reminiscing, telling a good joke or two while remembering advice given from one of them--no conversations involving politics!

With the following day being "Ridiculous Days" in the small community, the ladies headed out the next morning to find the best bargains.  Going in and out of the shops on Main, the shopping was enjoyable; however, the togetherness was what mattered.  Exclamations of what the grandchildren might enjoy, the change in house wares, and memories of past get-togethers were shared while the men relaxed at The Retreat--all of us starting to call it "home."

Saturday evening, we attended church filling up parts of two rows.  The pastor's sermon, "Outsiders Now In" was from Ephesians 2: 11 - 22.  "So he came and proclaimed peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near; for through him both of us have access in one Spirit to the Father. . . ."  Although the Bible referenced acceptance of the Gentiles, I could not help but compare it to our situation that weekend--" . . . you are citizens with the saints and also members of the household of God . . . with Christ himself as the cornerstone."

After church, we suppered together giving thanks for the food and togetherness.  Sweet corn, pizza, strawberry pie, Buster Bar Dessert--favorites from the past with a new one thrown in.  Would Mom have ever served pizza with sweet corn?  Each comment brought out another memory--a first cigarette offered by an older, wiser? sister; getting in trouble for changing a grade on a brother's report card, picking the neighbor's flowers and then selling them to others. . .

Although memories shared, we were living in the present, re-connecting, re-discovering each other and ourselves.  With long trips awaiting, everyone headed home (their individual dwelling places) after hugs and kisses on Sunday morning.

No matter where we go, where we settle or dwell and for whatever period of time, God is there with us.

"The eternal God is your dwelling place and underneath are the everlasting arms."  Duet. 33:27

Sometime this summer my husband and I are headed to a favorite fishing spot--our dwelling place for a few days.  And, you know what?  God will be there. 

Something To Think About

Having just finished reading Robert Conklin's Be Whole--escape from sickness, setbacks, despair to wholeness, success, love--I am eager to share some of the phrases from the book.  These particular words give me reason to pause and ponder.  Maybe, they will you, too?

*self-serving blame triggers grudges and separation
*negative attitudes are rooted in fear, doubt, hate
*we fear that which we do not understand
*fear obstructs love
*to lack forgiveness is to give another power to inflict pain
*the body is a meeting place for two wills:  God's and mine
*positive attitudes are rooted in faith, hope, love
*love unconditionally--be tolerant, compassionate, kind
*be one in whose presence others become better
*humility is not false modesty but rather the realization of the importance of others
*be miracle-minded
*when we give ourselves away, we find ourselves
*surrender and connect

Psalm 51 is a psalm of repentance written by David after adultery with Bathsheba.  we are all sinners; it is our nature.  David laments in verses 4 - 7, Against you, you only, have I sinned . . . surely I was sinful at birth. . . surely you desire truth in the inner parts . . . wash me, and I will be whiter than snow . . .

It is only when we give ourselves (surrender) to God do we fully understand ourselves.  And, if you're like me--it is an on-going process.

Let me leave you this week with Psalm 37: 3, 4 -- Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

May you have the desires of your heart this week as you give thanks always for the grace of God.

Go North on Primrose to Shadow Lane

Go north on Primrose.  Turn right on A31; by-pass Little Cedar.  Notice a cemetery on the right; go over the bridge.  On Ramport Road, turn north and travel for one mile on the gravel road.  Next, head east for one mile.  On Shadow Lane, turn north for one-fourth mile.

There it was:  David Community Church--the only reminder of a little village that existed over one hundred years ago--coming in with the railroad and ceasing to exist when the railroad left.  Currently surrounded by Iowa fields, a farm house is within steps.  A two-holer outhouse stands beside the church for parishioner's convenience--complete with an electrical light bulb, toilet paper in a can, and hand sanitizer.

We arrived at twelve noon.  After finding a parking spot amidst the many cars in the farmyard, we approached the church and noted a single entry--the front door.  Leaving the warm sunlight and quiet solitude of corn and bean crops swaying with the breeze, we stepped in.  Lively chatter and ladies dressed in summer colors lined the entryway to greet us.  We were soon seated in the church sanctuary--wooden fold-down seats, all attached one to the other, and situated in a semi-circle facing the pastor's pulpit.

Sixty some women visited quietly as they surveyed the insides of this little church.  A few dark heads dotted the room; otherwise, most donned gray.  The room quieted as one of the ladies stepped in front of the group and led in devotions.  After a prayer of thanks, someone directed us to follow the line to a table set up in another part of the room with a multicolored array of salads:  pasta, fruit, vegetable, jello, and dessert.  Picking and choosing a scoop of this, a tidbit of that, we filled our plates, picked up a glass of lemonade and carried our lap trays back to our seats.

Quiet female voices filled the room as we enjoyed food and fellowship.  Following the meal, introductions were given.  Groups of ladies came as representatives of their own churches from surrounding communities.  And, the few members of the David Community Church ,who had furnished the many salads, introducted their invited guests.  Smiles were shared; a number of long-a-go acquaintances were reunited.

The speaker, a mother from a nearby town who had accompanied her daughter on a mission trip to Uganda, was introduced.  She shared their experiences working with young women who had been captured and taken from their families to becomes slaves for enemy tribes--and, then, escaped.  The speaker, her daughter, and others traveling with them assisted these girls with caring for their children.  Bible lessons were given.  And time was spent cooking, cleaning and generally caring for each other. 

Whether we are in a tiny church in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa with sisters of the faith sharing a salad luncheon; whether we are over-seas in a far-away country holding one another's babies, we are connected.  In Christ, we are one.

After the program, we ended in prayer--for those sisters so far away in need, for rain for our crops, and giving praise for each other and the opportunities we have to make the world a better place.

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.  Romans 1: 4, 5, 6.

Wishing you God's blessings as you use your gifts this week--wherever you are.

A Mom, a Chocolate Cake, Memories, and Peace

When I was growing up, Saturday mornings were predictable.  No matter what time of the year it was, Saturday meant cleaning.  Saturday morning also meant baking.  Mom preferred to work together on both of these projects.  I (being at that age) preferred to work alone.  So, the question was always, Want to do the baking?  Want to do the cleaning?  No brainer, you may be thinking.  Nevertheless, on those really hot days and with  no air-conditioning, sometimes cleaning called to me.

On most Saturdays, however, I called for the baking.  Baking at the Abel household--a house with five boys, one girl, and two parents--was not a creative event in that we were consistent.  It never varied:  a 9 x 13 pan of chocolate cake, a double batch of chocolate chip cookies, and two loaves of bread.  All made from scratch, of course, and expected to last the entire week.

Several days ago was my mother's birthday.  She died of a very rare cancer three years ago.  I think of her daily, but I especially think about her on her birth date.  Pulling out a dark chocolate cake mix (yes, times have changed), I added eggs, oil and water and started the hand mixer.  While it was baking, I assembled the ingredients for a home-made, seven-minute frosting and set a place mat at my counter with my mother's mother's dishes--antique and fragile.  A tea cup with saucer, a dessert plate--both hand-painted with dainty flowers.

With the frosting whipped and swirled on a slightly cooled cake, I made a fresh cup of hot coffee with my Mr. Coffee single-cup maker, and sat down to think about my mom on this, her birthday.  The house was quiet; the birds could be heard outside in spite of the hum of an air-conditioning unit.  I watched the leaves from a nearby tree barely move in the wind as the chocolate cake melted in my mouth still warm from the oven.

Have you ever read the book of Esther from the Old Testament?  The word "God" is not used once, yet it is behind every word.  (More on Esther later.)  Point?  With my experience on Mother's birthday, God was there.  God had given me this beautiful, wonderful mom as a gift.  Praise God.  She was important to me when I was growing up; she is important to me today.

This week:
1) Say a prayer
2) Ask God to forgive you for your worries, your busy-ness
3) Think about all the good God has given you and  give thanks
4) Pray for peace and understanding
5) Give praise

Thou dost keep her mind in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.  Isaiah 20:3